A Hero Relaunching Without the Proper Helmsman

As a Trojan warrior in the modern era, I must admit that no one – past or present – does entertainment quite like Joss Whedon. A veritable muse, Mr. Whedon has entertained fans worldwide with his television shows. Foremost among those creations is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Imagine my surprise during my afternoon internet session when E! Online broke the news that the Buffy franchise may be rebooting – but without its captain at the helm.

No old familiar faces for this film.

The article goes on to state that both Sarah Michelle Gellar, who played Buffy Summers on the television show, and Joss Whedon are rumored to have no involvement as of yet with this supposed “reboot.” Ms. Gellar’s performance as the vampire slayer was an integral part of the show as a whole and it seems difficult to fathom exactly how it could be differently spun to get an entirely new story and new cast into the mix.

This, of course, seems to be coming about as a result of the commercial success of the recent Star Trek. Unfortunately for the supposed Buffy reboot, Star Trek had a critically acclaimed director and screenwriters while the Buffy reboot has only the director of the very first Buffy movie.

And now, today’s IN MY OPINION…

In my opinion, this is no Buffy the Vampire Slayer without Mr. Whedon. A crew is only so effective without its captain at the helm and denying the franchise Mr. Whedon’s involvement is exactly like stripping a captain away from his ship, his crew and his mission. In addition, I would be furious if anybody besides me was asked to play Achates in a reboot of the Aeneid. In fact, I would be furious if anybody suggested the Aeneid needed to be rebooted. What’s wrong with keeping things the way that they are out of respect for the integrity of the source material? It’s enough to make me want to switch places with Ilioneus…

Comics with Achates: Children, Children; Romance and Time Travel

Welcome to the first edition of Comics with Achates. It is here that I examine the modern form of epic poetry that is told every Wednesday of the week – the comic book.

As an avid reader, I find that every now and again, I like to see how the poets of this century are bringing in new minds to the intrigue and adventure of an epic-poetry-like format. This week, we examine two comics that target children. The first, from DC Comics, is the acclaimed Tiny Titans.

In a classic competition befitting of the Trojans, Supergirl and Kid Flash have a footrace for dominance of the fleet of foot.

This week’s issue features a foot race between Supergirl, who is the cousin of Superman, and Kid Flash, who is like The Flash, but a child. This comic takes a plethora of history from the DC Comics Teen Titans and The New Teen Titans series and lumps it all into one book full of inside jokes and humor while maintaining the integrity of the characters as a whole. Even though I am not a child anymore, I find that this comic is full of valuable stepping stones to adventure and further understanding the core concepts of the epic poem. The best part of Tiny Titans is that even the minor characters from the series get a mention inside the pages. Even more impressive, the book is so far based in DC history that readers will be able to step into the real DC Universe and have some idea as to what’s going on.

As we continue our trek through food for thought for children, we come up G-Man: Learning to Fly, a trade paperback from Image Comics. Image Comics is probably where Virgil would have ended up had he been born in this century – their approach to creator-owned comics is very impressive. Anyway, G-Man is by Chris Giarusso, the bard responsible for the humorous Mini-Marvels series for Marvel Comics. Judging from the comics of G-Man that can be viewed on his website, it seems to be much of the same: Kid superheroes getting into ridiculous situations and there’s nothing wrong with that.

If I were in G-Man’s universe, I would call myself the Forgotten Line. Ask me what my powers would be!

Part of being a hero is learning to laugh at yourself and the sometimes ridiculous situations that you get yourself into. I know it doesn’t say it in the poem, but despite all the tragedy that Aeneas had to go through, we had some pretty hilarious times. Just give me a moment to think of some…

…

…

I’ve got nothing. But my point is still valid. The imagination inspired by the stories that Chris Giarusso comes up with will help children to grow up craving the adventure and thrill of being a hero or going to found Rome, like me! (I know it was Aeneas, but give me this moment. Please.)

The final book that I’ve chosen for this week’s Comics with Achates is a comic by the name of The Dreamer published by IDW Publishing.

Beatrice Whaley: A Modern-Day Dido. Wait, that’s too sad. A Modern-Day Lavinia.

The Dreamer, written by Lora Innes was originally a comic on the internet before making the transition to print. It tells the story of young Beatrice Whaley, who dreams she is in the time of your American Revolutionary War running in trenches and falling in love with American soldier Alan Warren. The art portrays very accurate expressions and has a pleasing color scheme. I am told that this is also an accurate portrayal of how high school women (I believe you call them “teenagers.”) act. The story of star-crossed love reminds me of Aeneas’s love for Dido and her love for him. While that eventually ended in tragedy, it is difficult to tell whether The Dreamer will follow the same path. I am fond of the story and fear for Beatrice Whaley should her poet choose to follow the same direction that Virgil did.

Dealing with Nuclear Fallout

In my time amongst you modern-dwellers, I have had the pleasure of sampling last year’s Fallout 3 from Bethesda Software. While attempting my daily rounds of your internet, I came across this announcement that the post-apocalyptic Washington DC game is in for two more pieces of downloadable content. (For those of my lesser modern-educated compatriots, downloadable content is like finishing a journey, but choosing to continue on to other closely-related adventures after you have finished.)

The only place where there’s Snow Place Like Home.

My feeling on these new content packs are mixed. Bethesda’s DLC has a lot going for it – while “Operation: Anchorage” – which detailed the liberation of Alaska from the Chinese Army via Virtual Reality simulation – was really only about combat and a few new perks, it did introduce a few very powerful weapons that helped get through the rest of the story. The same could be said about “The Pitt,” which introduced the auto-axe (like an axe, but combined with one of your modern-day “weed-whackers”) and a whole new area of a decimated Pittsburgh to explore. While both these add-ons managed to bring so much to the game experience, nothing expanded the game as a whole like the most current piece of Downloadable Content, “Broken Steel.”

If we had a weapon like this, killing Hydras would have been a snap.

“Broken Steel” extends the game beyond the ending, allowing your character to continue his or her adventures in the Capital Wasteland. It is truly a marvel, expanding the growth of your character to a full thirty levels and continuing to add new quests and locations to explore. However, it seems that Bethesda is attempting to top their most recent endeavor by announcing two new content packs: “Point Lookout” and “Mothership Zeta.”

Liberty Prime reminds me of the cyclops. A cyclops with two weaponized eyes. I’d like to see Odysseus bring that monster down.

“Point Lookout” is scheduled for release first and will take adventurers to the Point Lookout State Park in St. Mary’s County, Maryland and with that area comes new quests for us to undertake. The interview says that it’s like backwoods Maryland where the bombs did not fall and the world has left it behind. It will be interesting to see another place that the Bombs haven’t touched. It seems Bethesda’s main goal with this is to give players a brand new area to explore and have exploration be the main focus. “Mothership Zeta,” by comparison, will offer up a ’50s B-Movie alien abduction that is sure to disturb and amaze, where the name of the game is off-the-wall wackiness.

Imagine this park, but in the future and completely unchanged.

The final point the announcement brings up is that owners of Sony’s PlayStation 3 will be able to partake in the extended adventures in the next few months as Downloadable Content for Fallout 3 is coming to the PlayStation Network.

And now, for today’s IN MY OPINION…

Look at him! He could survive an encounter with Scylla and Charybdis.

In my opinion, there are so many more things that Bethesda could do with this property. It seems almost odd that they are continually releasing downloadable content that simply deals with the fringes of the Washington DC territory. When Aeneas and his crew decided to go on their quest, it took them to different countries and various lands of wonder! I cannot help but wonder why Bethesda would stop at Maryland and not begin to expand to other locales in the United States. “The Pitt” was a step in the right direction, but with the Brotherhood of Steel’s headquarters on the West Coast, wouldn’t it make sense to expand the story further out? “Fallout: Las Vegas” is a step in the right direction, but is unrelated to the current interation of the game. It’s nice to visit Pittsburgh and Maryland, but why not give us a taste of more states? After all, we’re paying $10.00 per installment. By the time these last two add-ons release, Fallout fans will have paid $110.00 total for their game experience minimum. Make more content so that we can have some more bang for our buck! Expand the world! I must adventure more!

Review: Plants vs. Zombies

Plants vs. Zombies
Publisher: PopCap Games
Category: Puzzle/Strategy
Price: $19.99 for 5 licences

A good many games these days involve souls that aren’t ready to go to their final reward at Pluto’s hands. I am, of course, speaking of zombies. A focus on these unholy creatures has swept the world, making it the subject of a great many award-winning games.

While I am usually one for gaming entertainment that takes a serious approach to fighting off my enemies, I cannot help but give a hearty battle laugh at puzzle publisher PopCap Games’ newest endeavor into the strategy realm. Plants vs. Zombies gives you all the joy of being a field commander without the mess of sacrificing your comrades in battle (Oh, Hector – would that you hadn’t asked Aeneas to go on a major quest, forcing me into my lot in life as second fiddle.) because you’re commanding an army of plants instead of the usual units of infantry.

I much prefer the ocean. More space to hack off limbs. Oh, but cute sunflower!

While the concept sounds ridiculous, the core gameplay is one of the deepest experiences PopCap has put together. You collect Sun, Apollo’s gift to Earth, while continuously planting some of the most deformed and useful plants the Earth has ever seen as the zombie horde shambles toward your house. The plants do all the fighting for you, so there’s no need to do anything except make sure you strategically plant your units in place the first time. There are five different locations to get through with 48 different plant units and 26 zombies to unlock. Each location has a different strategy for survival. My favorite was the roof, where you use catapults that throw corn, cabbage and melons to take advantage of the odd angle.

Keep on truckin’ with over 40 plant types to command. Just don’t let them get eaten!

If you ever get tired of defending your home against the shambling zombie horde, PopCap has put in plenty of diversions for you. There are two puzzle modes of ten levels each – one of which allows you to actually play as the zombies – as well as a hefty offering of minigames. My favorites are the different takes on previous PopCap endeavors, such as BeGhouled and Zombiquarium. Additionally, once you have completed single-player mode, a new more difficult campaign is unlocked and suvival mode is open to see how long you can last against the zombie horde beginning your campaign with 5000 sun.

Well, at least they’re not trying to burn Troy to the ground. They just want to eat your brains.

Each plant has a character of their own, making the loyal but underused Snow Pea my character of choice. I have also spent a lot of time caring for marigolds in the built-in Zen Garden, which lets you grow plants and gain more in-game currency to obtain more plants and power-ups. The soundtrack is both whimsical and relaxing, which makes planting a joy. Between these offerings, Plants vs. Zombies offers more than 20 hours of gameplay, and for its $20 price tag, there’s really not much more you can ask for. More games should be taking this humorous look at a zombie invasion today to contrast with some of the more serious and violent games that remind me of my days as a soldier in the Trojan Army. If you pick this one up, the field commander in you will have an amazing time, while the gamer in you will delight in the creative zombies.

THE FINAL WORD
Zombariffic! If you don’t believe me, just ask this sunflower!

Download the .mp3 here!

SCORE
5 out of 5 Brain Stems

Fall 2009 TV Renewals

During my evening browsing, I happened upon Premium Hollywood’s TV Roundup. For the curious, here’s the main points that I must express an opinion on:

- Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse is renewed for another season by FOX while Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles is canceled.
- NBC renews Chuck for another 13 episodes with significant budget cuts.
- ABC is renewing Scrubs for a ninth season, with star Zach Braff to return for six episodes.

While I cannot profess to have seen the entirety of Captain Whedon’s new show, I have heard good things about it and unlike the debaucle with Firefly, a show very similar to the journey that we all took to begin the basis of Rome, it seems that the network is putting its trust in Mr. Whedon’s efforts and bidding a fond farewell to Terminator.

She looks like some kind of Hydra-Siren crossbreed! Robots are no match for her!

What is most puzzling is the fact that FOX would not renew Sarah Connor Chronicles when Terminator Salvation is less than a month away. Perhaps they do not believe that the momentum from the new movie will carry over to the television series. However, I am very interested to see how Mr. Whedon will continue his Dollhouse saga, for his followers seem to place great faith in his efforts. In the name of Ilium I salute you, Joss Whedon!

Chuck gets a check, but less cheques from NBC.

My favorite show about an afterthought worker (remind you of anybody? HINT: It’s me.) who turns into a super secret agent, Chuck, was renewed by NBC. This is a great win for the show, whose ratings have been consistently down for its second season. However, much like a tiny canoe attempting to find its way around a rocky reef, it seems to be the Little Show that Could and its great to see that NBC is putting their faith in what is a wonderful show with a stellar cast.

Seven Little Doctors all in a row/Is J.D. the first one to go?

Finally, we have the news that ABC is renewing the most real (and yet not real) medical show on television, Scrubs. Creator Bill Lawrence has said that he is ending the show numerous times, and at the end of this season, it really looked like the end of the series. This finale was so well done that I would easily put it in my top ten series finales of all time…but it’s not ending the series and so the “ending of the series” loses a lot of its luster and momentum.

Mr. Lawrence and his writers did such an admirable job of crafting a story, making the ending believable and leaving the watcher to decide what the eventual fate of the characters would be that renewing the show for another season almost cheapens it. One thing is for sure, though – with a finale like that, young Doctor John “J.D.” Dorian’s story is most definitely over, and it might be time to pass the helm onto another young doctor. It’s sure to be a different show next season, probably more in the direction of a Spin-Off rather than an actual continuation of the show.

And now for today’s IN MY OPINION…

IN MY OPINION, Scrubs should do a spin-off. The idea of the sad sack lawyer Ted and the Janitor adopting a baby and having their own sitcom was genius. Let’s see some more of Legal Custodians!

Coming soon to NBC? Come on!

Beyond those announcements, it was also announced that Castle, starring the Aeneas of Firefly – Nathan Fillion – has also been renewed for another season. The first season seemed only a test of what the show could accomplish, but that is a story and an opinion for another day.

The Achates Factor

As a longtime traveler and undermentioned companion of Aeneas, I’ve decided enough is enough. I should be heard. If it wasn’t bad enough that I was mentioned for only six measly lines by Virgil, I didn’t even get to tell any of my story! It just isn’t fair. No wonder he described me as “good and faithful Achates.” What he really meant was “that dude totally rolled over and let me write nothing about him and didn’t bother to complain.”

Nowadays, I find people caring less and less about my story and more and more about this “Internet” craze. So while Aeneas is off doing his own thing, I’ve decided that I’m going to finally get a chance to give my opinion. These days, I live off of my royalty checks that the College Board sends me for using Virgil’s Aeneid. It’s not much to live off of, but it pays the bills. Since I’m kind of a celebrity, I spend my weekends watching television, playing games with my compatriots, going to movies and reading comic books. I find that many of the themes present in today’s games and movies were around while I was adventuring with Aeneas.

So, drop by to see what I’ve done with my life and finally get to read my opinion on everything – it’s about time!